Between States by Sean Catt

Author:Sean Catt [Catt, Sean]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction: Action & Adventure
ISBN: 9780992904692
Publisher: Actualise Self Publishing
Published: 2015-03-03T00:00:00+00:00

California Calling

As Jake wriggled his heels deeper into the pale yellow sand, the warm dry grains on the surface tickled as they ran down between his toes. Propping himself up on his hands he leant his head back and closed his eyes. He felt the sun’s late morning heat prickling his cheeks as its strengthening glare shone yellow-white through his eyelids. Breathing in deeply, he filled his lungs to capacity then held the breath for an arbitrary count of five. After a long slow exhale he attempted to tune out the everyday noises around him and concentrate solely on the slow rhythmic roar of the surf crashing onto the beach.

He tried a second time, then a third. After several more unsuccessful attempts he realized his Zen moment simply wasn’t happening, he could still hear traffic and the general buzz of everyday life all around him.

Okay, so the positive thoughts still weren’t coming easy, truth be told they weren’t coming at all. But the upside had to be that finally he was back in California, sat on one of his favorite beaches under the early September sun.

Mind you there were times earlier on he thought he’d never make it here.

No! Just shut up Jake, you’re here now, you’re happy, everything is cool, so stop thinking that shit.

But his stupid brain couldn’t let go of the past that easily. He knew it would keep bringing everything bad back, over and over, just to torment him.

If only there was a way to simply wipe everything he didn’t want from his memory, like you could with a computer. However, he just couldn’t stop dredging up all the bad stuff from his past, and the more he tried to lock it away, the easier things seemed to break through. And it always ended the same, with him giving in and letting the bad memories swamp him and drown whatever little happiness he had going for him. And he knew it was about to happen once again.

For almost ten years now it had sucked to be him, big time. Sure he knew shit hadn’t happened to him on a daily basis or anything like that. But after the first four or five years he’d decided that everybody’s best interests would be served especially his, if he just kept himself to himself. That way he’d be less likely to find trouble, which just left it up to trouble to find him, something it had always succeeded in doing with alarming ease and regularity.

Initially he justified his withdrawal from society with the almost believable ‘cats are solitary creatures’ justification. But over time it started to develop into a full blown obsessive disorder as his ‘employers’ continued to coerce him into doing their dirty work for them. It wasn’t as if they even bothered trying to justify what they wanted done any more.

And to make matters worse he’d become very good at what he did, he’d thought a few times about screwing up, but he knew they wouldn’t tolerate failure and especially deliberate failure.

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